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    25 September

    大漠苦行-第一日

    这千里的旅途,也慢慢开始了吧
     
    坐在摇摇晃晃的列车上,看窗外落寞的电线杆无语的飞驰而过,车窗玻璃上,却又慢慢浮现出你的容颜,我痛苦的摇摇头,想要忘却,却只能让自己更加的迷茫,我想就在这点点的不知不觉中,我早已陷入这温柔的陷阱,抬起头无助得看着你狠心的笑脸,我慢慢的等待,等待。
     
    无精打采的做这所有事情,看书,看报,发呆,咀嚼着难吃的饼干,咽下口中,没有甜蜜,却有撕心裂肺的疼痛在慢慢的翻涌,捂住胸口某个地方,听鲜血流淌的声音,像小溪潺潺,忽略这周围的一切,看着透明晶莹的世界尽头,依旧站着你决绝的身影.......
     
    推开卧铺车厢沉重的门,孤寂得站在这下午五点半的玻璃窗侧,静悄悄的车厢,有人在欢笑,有人在悲泣,而我却只能听到心脏怦怦的跳动声,慢慢的叙说着这曾经的精彩,这明天的迷离,以及这永生的疲惫。闭上眼睛,为灵魂点上根看不见的香烟,孤单的与他跳这灰色的小夜曲,角落里,哭泣的魅影在流着蓝色的眼泪......
     
    火车嘎然而止,停在一个陌生的站台,痴痴的看这古青色的石砖,斑驳的台柱,围墙外侧那株无名的花儿在倔强的摆动着,抬起头来,天色渐暗,在那模模糊糊的地平线处,太阳在高傲的下山,车厢内的人也在议论着这太阳的光彩。却使我愈发有点点抑郁的感觉,动情地看着这耀眼的太阳时,又有谁人能体会到这灰暗的天空曾经的孤单?天空,只是永远不哭。
     
    大漠的心灵之旅,会有怎样的结局?
     
    我看不见。
     
    这千里的忏悔,我找不到真正的上帝。
     
    努力的关上这通向欲望的泥潭,抵御着美人鱼悠扬的歌唱,将眼光挪开那毒蛇的禁果,回头转身。
     
    却怎么也找不到那关闭自己情感大门的锁匙。
     
    只有慢慢的沉沦。
     
    看着手机里你发来的短信,痛苦的克制自己想要回复的本能。
     
    或许,我们会形同陌路,那样,也许真的最好。
     
    因为我可以微笑着欺骗自己,狼心狗肺的隐藏自己的所有情感,静静的坐在你身边,看你哭,看你笑。
     
    但我永远欺骗不了那心中傻傻的男孩。
     
    他只是在埋着头,低低的啜泣。
     
    悄悄的想你。 

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